literature

Innocence

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xaltair's avatar
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Literature Text

Living alone in a world
Everyone rooting for themselves
You lie apart inside, beyond
You are anonymous

You sense a wet fire
Each time love comes
You are alive
In a metallic dream,

Fast heat approaches
Your heart pulsating firm
A peachy stare, you notice
A scalding savour you sense

Pure and pristine
You live your life
Knowing that forever
You will remain, innocent.
Hi!

This is yet another poem i wrote during my teen years, around 16-17, also during my great depression years. These are some of my earlier poems, so it's likely i was only 16 at the time.

Comments are always welcome!
© 2004 - 2024 xaltair
Comments1
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LeRoue's avatar
interesting...you have some nice lines in this--like "you sense a wet fire," "A peachy stare" This is very nice. Although I think the meaning of "rooting" here is cliche, I feel it has double meaning. You may be able to phrase it differently, to be more specific of what you mean or play more on the double meaning (if there is one). Likewise, I think "scalding savour" is a little too vague for my taste. But you have a very interesting piece here all in all. It intrigues me and I think that is one if not most important thing in art. I have some poetry posted as well if you would like to read and comment and on any of it.